can't explain.

create: karen

i'm wondering if now is as bad as time as any, [to be rotting the bookshelf from the floor up, tell it to me straight.]

to simply become a man
create a slave from the father within,
create a game with a struggle to win.
become a girl who is pounding a hymn,

out of a majestic-relic of an organ.

be some sort of word now,
cut up in the middle and finding excessive amounts of
the milky way,
tangled up in your mind,
with guilt and memories and struggles.


but all in all, Be.

red tide in the morning

i stuck my fingers into the water, expecting it to close around them and burn my fingers increasingly more red.

but the water shied away from me like i was the poisonous one. large, red-looking droplets shimmered out of my way, and the liquid swelled up around me, as if i was making a clay vase.

my hands remained dry, like the sun.
my heart; beating like a shallow drum, all the tiny chords pumping and breathing and stretching out in the bloodstream.

with my face downwards, buried in the scent of the salty, sulfurous water, i told him to step out, with his tired feet. i saw his grin in my mind, all wrapped up with a strong hue of memories. i turned my head around and around yet again, but he was nowhere to be found.

i caught my breath, placing it back into my lungs. and walked as far away from that vivid place as i could. for it was filled with his lack of presence.

strike anywhere matches,

burnt a hole in my hand,
when you kissed my head.
suddenly,
the unidentified stepped forward and shouted,
suddenly they screamed.


my mind always knew, [it was just waiting for the right moment, you know]
you'll never know how proud i am of you,

i can love you limitlessly,
like the sky.
piercing holes into the darkness, the sky is a friend.



________________________________________

i scribbled a note on that scrap of paper,
tip-toeing to place it in your room.

you caught me off guard, and folded me up.
you were quiet.

creep up and tell me,,

i stretched out my arms and ate the bright glare of the sun.

i cannot wait to see you again, [i could be no more eager. i would make you breakfast in the morning, i would cook you a blueberry pancake, twice.]

if you burnt the lining off the masques ingrained into pavement.

he rambled on about holding your fingers a certain way and a long lost brother hitting him softly on the arm, i laughed and told him to go to sleep,, he had already fallen so quickly, like the two blueberry pancakes, a few minutes before.






i'm glad you are home, i often kiss your face through a window.
i often string together games i've played, just to see you again at the end.

just to win you in the end.